time for my usual 'every now and then' blog. we've been busy trying to wrap up our time in missouri and get ready for our coming adventure in dc. i feel like we're as prepared as we can be, which is uncharacteristic of me. i'm not sure i've ever felt prepared for anything. maybe jared makes me a little more grounded. or maybe i'm in denial.
we have a tiny little apartment on capitol hill. i have only lived three places in my life: richland, shawnee, and the himalayas. capitol hill is a big jump for me. but yes, we are literally ten minutes away from union station and paying dearly for such a great location. what surprises me is that i'm very comfortable in dc despite my small town-ness. i know the metro system really well. i have finally figured out the stupid quadrants the whole city is divided in. as far as cities go dc is very manageable.
i actually just returned from dc. i flew out on a whim for three different job interviews. my dear friend, jessie, and i both crashed with suzanne and we had a great time. jessie was nice enough to walk with me to my different interviews and it was such a blessing to have someone to process everything with. she is also looking for jobs in dc and we are very much in the same boat. we lived together for a year in college and used to build forts in our apartment. whenever we got stressed we would hide in our forts and eat apples and peanut butter. how good of the Lord to bring us back together and give us each other during this time. i'm not sure what His plan is for us but i can't help but hope we end up being neighbors on capitol hill.
as for the jobs--well, i can honestly say i have worked very hard to find a job. i had three wonderful interviews and would be happy to have any of those jobs, but the decision is out of my hands. of course, nothing can make you feel like a loser faster than job rejection... even so, i know i am not a loser. i put on a power suit and trudged through the humid air to put myself on the line on the tenth floor of ritzy office buildings. i was nervous but it was still a piece of cake compared to trekking through ice and snow alongside poor donkeys until my feet turned blue. the hard thing is how easy it is to forget all that now that i'm heading towards washington. for some reason i feel like i should naturally transition from mountain girl to top notch non profit executive.
pride comes in both a sari and a power suit. and i don't want any part of it. i will feel disappointed if none of these jobs work out but i will keep looking. i will choose to be satisfied with what the Lord provides because He knows what is best for jared and me. so if any of you hear me complain about my employment (or lack thereof) PLEASE smack me in the head and tell me i didn't live in the third world for no reason. remind me that so many in the country i love will never have a chance to work at all.
well, thank you for reading my thoughts sans pictures. i have a cute one of suzanne, jessie, and me but i forgot my camera cord. and dang it, kelley, i just remembered i never sent you that picture of us. and i KNOW you did not forget because that is how you are :) i shall send it soon!
please come visit us in dc. we will be there in two weeks!
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
life and rest and joy and peace
now that the wedding has come and gone life can slow down right? not exactly! we came back from our new england honeymoon, went back to work for a couple of weeks, and then made the long drive to the east coast to check out our new city! we also went to lindsay's graduation and visited a lot of jared's family and friends (along with my dear friend, kelley caskey!). i have good pictures to share but can't upload them at the present time. besides the point of this particular post is really not to give you a play by play of our current roadtrip. and as kelley says, the blog world doesn't particularly care if you went to target, ate really good hummus, or watched your brother's rock band (although i do have some spectacular footage of that event).
it's been nearly ten months since i left india and certain changes in myself are just now becoming evident. i think so much of what we call 'change' is actually adaptation. for example i thought my two years overseas would forever change the way i grocery shopped, but the truth is i adapted rather quickly. after a couple of weeks i no longer felt overwhelmed in the cereal aisle and i re-learned how to use the microwave. change, however, lingers even after everything else has fallen into place. change is remembering how you used to feel about certain things and wonder why you no longer feel the same way.
we are moving to dc in less than two months. we've been actively looking for apartments. jared is registered for his fall classes and i am job searching. i've made some connections, i've put some applications in, and i'm continuing to look for opportunities that i will be a good fit for (and will hopefully pay our ginormous monthly rent). job searching is like fishing and job searching in dc while you live in missouri is like fishing on a really bad day. i have some options, but seriously doubt i will secure anything until we move up there, which is a tough but good thing for someone who likes to get things done as soon as possible. i need to learn patience.
my job search has shown me i have a much different view of myself than i used to. although i'm being as proactive as possible i can't help but feel a little bit of tension as i pour through job listings. i like to work hard and believe that i can do the things many of them require, but many of the descriptions are looking for someone who is 'top notch' or 'savvy' or 'sophisticated.' how can i sell myself as any of those things? it's hard to feel sophisticated when i spent two years shivering in yak wool and throwing up half my food because i had so many parasites. i could hardly call myself savvy after stumbling through broken hindi just to buy bread and vegetables in the market. and how can i possibly feel top notch after living among the world's absolute poor, sick, and dying--especially when so many of them offered me the best they had. the truth is that i have a much different set of eyes now than i did when i interned in dc in college. i guess it's better to not be overly ambitious or self-assured, but i do want to have the confidence i need to perform well in whatever position i have.
jared is much more laid back about the upcoming changes. he thinks that i put too much pressure on myself and he is probably right. i remember a quote i read during a devotional time in india that said, 'are you more comfortable in activity than you are in abiding.' this is definitely true of me and i have long since prayed that God will help me be a person of peace. a few days ago i was playing some hymns on the piano (i don't really play the piano but i can read music and i enjoy trying to play even though i'm not very good) and i was moved by the third verse of 'tis so sweet to trust in jesus.' so, for all you people out there who struggle to be peaceful i hope this verse will speak to you the way it does to me.
tis so sweet to trust in jesus
just from sin and self to cease
just from jesus simply taking
life and rest and joy and peace
amen to that! i don't know when i'll blog again but before i bring this one to an end i want to share my favorite wedding picture with you.
it's been nearly ten months since i left india and certain changes in myself are just now becoming evident. i think so much of what we call 'change' is actually adaptation. for example i thought my two years overseas would forever change the way i grocery shopped, but the truth is i adapted rather quickly. after a couple of weeks i no longer felt overwhelmed in the cereal aisle and i re-learned how to use the microwave. change, however, lingers even after everything else has fallen into place. change is remembering how you used to feel about certain things and wonder why you no longer feel the same way.
we are moving to dc in less than two months. we've been actively looking for apartments. jared is registered for his fall classes and i am job searching. i've made some connections, i've put some applications in, and i'm continuing to look for opportunities that i will be a good fit for (and will hopefully pay our ginormous monthly rent). job searching is like fishing and job searching in dc while you live in missouri is like fishing on a really bad day. i have some options, but seriously doubt i will secure anything until we move up there, which is a tough but good thing for someone who likes to get things done as soon as possible. i need to learn patience.
my job search has shown me i have a much different view of myself than i used to. although i'm being as proactive as possible i can't help but feel a little bit of tension as i pour through job listings. i like to work hard and believe that i can do the things many of them require, but many of the descriptions are looking for someone who is 'top notch' or 'savvy' or 'sophisticated.' how can i sell myself as any of those things? it's hard to feel sophisticated when i spent two years shivering in yak wool and throwing up half my food because i had so many parasites. i could hardly call myself savvy after stumbling through broken hindi just to buy bread and vegetables in the market. and how can i possibly feel top notch after living among the world's absolute poor, sick, and dying--especially when so many of them offered me the best they had. the truth is that i have a much different set of eyes now than i did when i interned in dc in college. i guess it's better to not be overly ambitious or self-assured, but i do want to have the confidence i need to perform well in whatever position i have.
jared is much more laid back about the upcoming changes. he thinks that i put too much pressure on myself and he is probably right. i remember a quote i read during a devotional time in india that said, 'are you more comfortable in activity than you are in abiding.' this is definitely true of me and i have long since prayed that God will help me be a person of peace. a few days ago i was playing some hymns on the piano (i don't really play the piano but i can read music and i enjoy trying to play even though i'm not very good) and i was moved by the third verse of 'tis so sweet to trust in jesus.' so, for all you people out there who struggle to be peaceful i hope this verse will speak to you the way it does to me.
tis so sweet to trust in jesus
just from sin and self to cease
just from jesus simply taking
life and rest and joy and peace
amen to that! i don't know when i'll blog again but before i bring this one to an end i want to share my favorite wedding picture with you.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
It's A Wedding Blog!!!
Jared and I have been married all of three weeks now and, well, what kind of girl doesn't blog about her own wedding? You have to forgive me--we live with my grandma now and she doesn't have internet. By now you with facebook have probably already seen most of these pictures but I wanted to put some on here anyway.
When I first started planning our wedding I had a vision of keeping it a small and simple affair. I think a lot of that came from my own personal doubts that a lot of people would actually come, not because people don't like us but because so many of our friends and family live out of town/state. In this day of rising prices and the horrible airline industry (see post below) I didn't expect people to travel all the way to Richland, which is not the easiest place in the world to get to. BUT, God showered grace upon us like a thunderstorm--SO many people came to our wedding! I was a millimeter away from becoming a sobbing, slobbery mess the whole time because I was so moved by the love God, our family, and all our friends have for us.
It was perfect. Minus a few special people almost everyone was there. I kept looking around thinking 'Is this really happening?' The week of the wedding had been the usual volatile Missouri spring with an hour of sunshine followed by an hour of torrential rain and hail. But praise the Lord the weekend was lovely (for the most part). I picked up my India girls on Thursday and we had a pizza party that night with Jared's friends and both our families. Then the girls watched Bride and Prejudice while the amazing April did our henna. We all knew April was good, but she really out did herself--everyone was amazed, as they should have been, by her genius.
Friday morning all my friends had a personal shower for me at this little restaurant called The Blue Onyon (which is where my wallet was recovered two weeks after the wedding...see post below). It was so fun! I had friends from all stages of life there and it was nothing short of hilarious and incredible. I wish I could tell you more, but come on, it was a PERSONAL shower... That afternoon was pure chaos in the best sense of the word. We decorated the church and the gym and everyone was amazing and a huge help, but it was a lot of work! My parents were the stars of the show. They worked so hard! My dad, fortunately he's a lightbulb guy, managed to string these lights across the gym with the help of some other guys. He was practically subhuman through the whole thing. It seemed like there were five of him running around, which is pretty normal if you know my dad. It was my mom's idea to get matching tables and chairs so that made everything look much better than it would have if we'd used the ones already there--good call mom! Even though it was crazy i wouldn't change a thing. i had such a great time and felt so special that so many people were willing to help.
Friday night was the rehearsal and the dinner. jared's parents worked really hard to make it special. ruby tuesday's catered and we had a special video with all our pictures. we expanded the dinner to include more than the wedding party--all our relatives and out of town friends were there. our friends shared special stories about us and then chesed surprised us with a song she and alicia wrote (with a little help from jared's friends) and it was all i could do to keep from losing it! if there was ever a moment where you felt like saying, 'look at me, i am LOVED,' that was it!
the actual wedding day was really fun. everyone told me to slow down and enjoy it but i couldn't focus on anything. getting ready and taking pictures kind of feels like a blur now, although i do remember wishing i had worn more comfortable shoes. the ceremony was great! we wanted it to be a spiritual and reverent time, and it really was everything we hoped it would be. i was so glad we wrote our own vows because they really seemed to communicate what we wanted them to--so many people have asked for copies of our vows! we wanted everyone to know that we were there because God was good to us and gave us what we didn't deserve and He's the One who deserved to be celebrated--not us. i think most people got that from our ceremony so what more could we ask for? we had a lovely reception and i spent the majority of it walking around taking pictures and talking to people. i didn't realize i hadn't busseled my dress until about halfway through--boy did walking get a lot easier after that!
it may sound cheesy but i really feel like i had the wedding of my dreams. God has given jared and me such a neat story and i'm so glad we were able to celebrate it with so many loved ones. everything was so beautiful and i wouldn't change a thing. i might change losing my wallet and almost getting kicked out of the airport on the first day of our honeymoon, but that would really be the only thing! in case you read my previous blog and were wondering...we did make it to our final destination and had a great time. more about that later!
as for right now...we are preparing for our move to dc! in a couple of weeks we will be in nc for lindsay's graduation and then we are going up to dc to apartment hunt. our most exciting news at the moment is that jared just received a scholarship from american that covers most of his tuition! praise God! we weren't expecting him to get anything because it was getting late but the Lord surpassed our expectations once again! i guess i'm not too surprised though--my husband is pretty smart. and he worked in mother theresa's home in calcutta and what university doesn't like stuff like that? right now i am in the process of job searching. i actually just applied for my first job today, which i'm very underqualified for, but hey, dream big right? i have found a few jobs that are a little more realistic and will apply for those next week. pray for me! ...or hire me if you are an employer in the dc area :)
When I first started planning our wedding I had a vision of keeping it a small and simple affair. I think a lot of that came from my own personal doubts that a lot of people would actually come, not because people don't like us but because so many of our friends and family live out of town/state. In this day of rising prices and the horrible airline industry (see post below) I didn't expect people to travel all the way to Richland, which is not the easiest place in the world to get to. BUT, God showered grace upon us like a thunderstorm--SO many people came to our wedding! I was a millimeter away from becoming a sobbing, slobbery mess the whole time because I was so moved by the love God, our family, and all our friends have for us.
It was perfect. Minus a few special people almost everyone was there. I kept looking around thinking 'Is this really happening?' The week of the wedding had been the usual volatile Missouri spring with an hour of sunshine followed by an hour of torrential rain and hail. But praise the Lord the weekend was lovely (for the most part). I picked up my India girls on Thursday and we had a pizza party that night with Jared's friends and both our families. Then the girls watched Bride and Prejudice while the amazing April did our henna. We all knew April was good, but she really out did herself--everyone was amazed, as they should have been, by her genius.
Friday morning all my friends had a personal shower for me at this little restaurant called The Blue Onyon (which is where my wallet was recovered two weeks after the wedding...see post below). It was so fun! I had friends from all stages of life there and it was nothing short of hilarious and incredible. I wish I could tell you more, but come on, it was a PERSONAL shower... That afternoon was pure chaos in the best sense of the word. We decorated the church and the gym and everyone was amazing and a huge help, but it was a lot of work! My parents were the stars of the show. They worked so hard! My dad, fortunately he's a lightbulb guy, managed to string these lights across the gym with the help of some other guys. He was practically subhuman through the whole thing. It seemed like there were five of him running around, which is pretty normal if you know my dad. It was my mom's idea to get matching tables and chairs so that made everything look much better than it would have if we'd used the ones already there--good call mom! Even though it was crazy i wouldn't change a thing. i had such a great time and felt so special that so many people were willing to help.
Friday night was the rehearsal and the dinner. jared's parents worked really hard to make it special. ruby tuesday's catered and we had a special video with all our pictures. we expanded the dinner to include more than the wedding party--all our relatives and out of town friends were there. our friends shared special stories about us and then chesed surprised us with a song she and alicia wrote (with a little help from jared's friends) and it was all i could do to keep from losing it! if there was ever a moment where you felt like saying, 'look at me, i am LOVED,' that was it!
the actual wedding day was really fun. everyone told me to slow down and enjoy it but i couldn't focus on anything. getting ready and taking pictures kind of feels like a blur now, although i do remember wishing i had worn more comfortable shoes. the ceremony was great! we wanted it to be a spiritual and reverent time, and it really was everything we hoped it would be. i was so glad we wrote our own vows because they really seemed to communicate what we wanted them to--so many people have asked for copies of our vows! we wanted everyone to know that we were there because God was good to us and gave us what we didn't deserve and He's the One who deserved to be celebrated--not us. i think most people got that from our ceremony so what more could we ask for? we had a lovely reception and i spent the majority of it walking around taking pictures and talking to people. i didn't realize i hadn't busseled my dress until about halfway through--boy did walking get a lot easier after that!
it may sound cheesy but i really feel like i had the wedding of my dreams. God has given jared and me such a neat story and i'm so glad we were able to celebrate it with so many loved ones. everything was so beautiful and i wouldn't change a thing. i might change losing my wallet and almost getting kicked out of the airport on the first day of our honeymoon, but that would really be the only thing! in case you read my previous blog and were wondering...we did make it to our final destination and had a great time. more about that later!
as for right now...we are preparing for our move to dc! in a couple of weeks we will be in nc for lindsay's graduation and then we are going up to dc to apartment hunt. our most exciting news at the moment is that jared just received a scholarship from american that covers most of his tuition! praise God! we weren't expecting him to get anything because it was getting late but the Lord surpassed our expectations once again! i guess i'm not too surprised though--my husband is pretty smart. and he worked in mother theresa's home in calcutta and what university doesn't like stuff like that? right now i am in the process of job searching. i actually just applied for my first job today, which i'm very underqualified for, but hey, dream big right? i have found a few jobs that are a little more realistic and will apply for those next week. pray for me! ...or hire me if you are an employer in the dc area :)
Sunday, April 06, 2008
i got married yesterday...yay! so why on earth am i blogging? good question. we're supposed to be in boston right now, but thanks to the continual degradation of customer service and real freedom in america we're stuck in the kansas city airport. i hate this airport because the security team is always terribly rude and anal (way beyond the norm--and i've been in a lot of airports), today it surpassed anything i've experienced before.
due to the craziness of the wedding i accidentally misplaced my driver's license.
i decided to use my passport instead since it's a valid id and i've used it a million times before both in america and overseas. i was stopped at security so they could examine my passport. jared and i stood over to the side while more and more 'officials' came to check it out. then they came over to me and said that since my passport has tape in it they were concerned it wasn't valid. by tape i don't mean masking tape or duct tape--i mean a clear seal placed in the passport by the united states government. i got my passport amended a couple of years ago. there are two different stamps stating the official amendement, as well as the date it occurred. i informed security of all this, but they continued to call more people, including the police, to check it out. at that point i started to get frustrated. i'm a very calm person, but i was slightly annoyed at being accused of passport tampering. i am not proud to say my demeanor became a little disagreeable. you see, i usually fail to be assertive in situations like this and i'm later mad at myself for not taking a stand. however, when i do express my anger i get emotional and cry, which later makes me feel bad too.
after awhile another guy came and told me i should get a new passport because mine is a little worn on the top edge. i was like, 'hello, you looked through it. can you not see how much it has been used? it's amazing it looks as good as it does. it isn't damaged or anything.' then a police officer came over and told me that everyone was just doing their jobs. he said that i should be glad that the airport cared enough to look into a passport with tape on it. i told him that this was anything but courteous and the real problem was that they didn't have a clue what an amended passport looks like. he replied 'we know what an amended passport is. if we didn't know the passport had been amended we'd be hauling you off in handcuffs.' i almost laughed. seriously? handcuffs? you would think it was an episode of law and order. but the main thing is that he was lying--if they knew what an amended passport looked like, heck, if they could READ the official stamp inside the passport, then none of this would have been an issue. by this point i was in tears (lovely, jules) and i know everyone felt bad for jared because he was stuck with a crazy woman. we were both subjected to a full search and so was all of our stuff. meanwhile, the gate was calling our name but the security team made no effort to help us make our flight. we missed it. after it was all over and they decided that i was actually a law abiding citizen with a valid id they told us, 'i hope this doesn't ruin your honeymoon.' No--public humiliation, being accused of passport tampering, and being delayed four additional hours should just roll right off my back.
my personal opinion is that a passport is much more valid than other kinds of id. it's a federal document, belong to the us of a--not me or pompous kci airline security. the problem is that airline security can treat people however they want and say , 'we're just trying to keep people safe.' safe from what? i've flown all over the world. it used to be easy. in this day and age, however, i have to throw away water bottles and sunscreen, have my body shot with air pockets to check for chemical residue, strip down to my last layer of clothing, and be publicly accused of illegal tampering all in the name of safety. it's completely ridiculous. i want airlines to take precautionary measures, but i think we're going way too far. if someone wants to commit a terrorist act they always find a way to do it. in the meantime, law abiding and paying customers are being subjected to terrible violations and customer service.
ok--i am finished now. i think we just may be headed to boston soon...assuming they let me on the plane.
***disclaimer
i've used my passport in a lot of us airports and kci is the only one that gave me trouble. but it's only because they're an airport that 'cares.'
due to the craziness of the wedding i accidentally misplaced my driver's license.
i decided to use my passport instead since it's a valid id and i've used it a million times before both in america and overseas. i was stopped at security so they could examine my passport. jared and i stood over to the side while more and more 'officials' came to check it out. then they came over to me and said that since my passport has tape in it they were concerned it wasn't valid. by tape i don't mean masking tape or duct tape--i mean a clear seal placed in the passport by the united states government. i got my passport amended a couple of years ago. there are two different stamps stating the official amendement, as well as the date it occurred. i informed security of all this, but they continued to call more people, including the police, to check it out. at that point i started to get frustrated. i'm a very calm person, but i was slightly annoyed at being accused of passport tampering. i am not proud to say my demeanor became a little disagreeable. you see, i usually fail to be assertive in situations like this and i'm later mad at myself for not taking a stand. however, when i do express my anger i get emotional and cry, which later makes me feel bad too.
after awhile another guy came and told me i should get a new passport because mine is a little worn on the top edge. i was like, 'hello, you looked through it. can you not see how much it has been used? it's amazing it looks as good as it does. it isn't damaged or anything.' then a police officer came over and told me that everyone was just doing their jobs. he said that i should be glad that the airport cared enough to look into a passport with tape on it. i told him that this was anything but courteous and the real problem was that they didn't have a clue what an amended passport looks like. he replied 'we know what an amended passport is. if we didn't know the passport had been amended we'd be hauling you off in handcuffs.' i almost laughed. seriously? handcuffs? you would think it was an episode of law and order. but the main thing is that he was lying--if they knew what an amended passport looked like, heck, if they could READ the official stamp inside the passport, then none of this would have been an issue. by this point i was in tears (lovely, jules) and i know everyone felt bad for jared because he was stuck with a crazy woman. we were both subjected to a full search and so was all of our stuff. meanwhile, the gate was calling our name but the security team made no effort to help us make our flight. we missed it. after it was all over and they decided that i was actually a law abiding citizen with a valid id they told us, 'i hope this doesn't ruin your honeymoon.' No--public humiliation, being accused of passport tampering, and being delayed four additional hours should just roll right off my back.
my personal opinion is that a passport is much more valid than other kinds of id. it's a federal document, belong to the us of a--not me or pompous kci airline security. the problem is that airline security can treat people however they want and say , 'we're just trying to keep people safe.' safe from what? i've flown all over the world. it used to be easy. in this day and age, however, i have to throw away water bottles and sunscreen, have my body shot with air pockets to check for chemical residue, strip down to my last layer of clothing, and be publicly accused of illegal tampering all in the name of safety. it's completely ridiculous. i want airlines to take precautionary measures, but i think we're going way too far. if someone wants to commit a terrorist act they always find a way to do it. in the meantime, law abiding and paying customers are being subjected to terrible violations and customer service.
ok--i am finished now. i think we just may be headed to boston soon...assuming they let me on the plane.
***disclaimer
i've used my passport in a lot of us airports and kci is the only one that gave me trouble. but it's only because they're an airport that 'cares.'
Thursday, March 27, 2008
i, julie, take thee, jared...
there's a rather mercurial spring rain falling outside. it began as a refreshing shower, the kind where the sun still shines through the clouds, and is now hitting my window as though it was shot from the sky with an angry pellet gun. such is missouri weather. i wouldn't mind so much except i'm trying to write my wedding vows. jared and i assumed we'd just find some off the internet, but we should've known better. we're both way too particular about the words we say (especially when it's a vow!) to just copy and paste them. alas, we decided to write them. so here i am trying to concentrate and pretend that it doesn't sound like my house is about to blow away.
i did come across some interesting stuff while researching wedding vows. they have all different kinds now: christian traditional, interfaith, non-traditional, humorous, remarriage, etc. yes, vows can be tailor made to fit our individual needs and desires. isn't that great? maybe it would be if humans had it in themselves to keep these outrageous promises we make to one another. but we can't. we definitely and absolutely do not have the ability to sacrificially give ourselves to another person for a lifetime unless we draw strength from a higher source of love and grace. and i'm not talking about just divorce. i'm talking about everyday sacrifice, forgiveness, and selflessness--things that are unnatural to our carnal nature. maybe my assessment seems cynical, but these are the feelings that came out during my research, especially inspired by two groups.
the sappy and shallow vows-- i watched this video on Godtube (who knew there was such a thing) that looked like it came straight from a soap opera wedding. the guy actually told this girl she was his only hope. and she replied with a very touching proclamation that she didn't need to live in mansion, she just needed to live in his arms. i am a sentimental person but i was cracking up as i watched this couple worship each other. i understand people who are not christians using their weddings as a time to praise earthly love, but it bothers me when christians say things like that because it isn't what we believe. we believe that marriage is a gift of God, but our completeness and hope is in the Cross and relationship with Jesus. Another human being can be our beloved companion on this journey, but they can never be our salvation. so statements like (and i quote) 'i know i'm not perfect but we will be perfect together' belong in the soap operas but not in christian weddings. beyond all that, it just sounds stupid. i'm pretty sure when i have the flu and throw up everywhere jared isn't going to talk about living in my arms or how perfect i am while he's cleaning it up.
the lackadaisical vows-- i found a really interesting article about a trend where people are deciding to make their vows a little less 'permanent.' some people feel guilty saying till death do us part because they're just not sure their marriages will last. instead they're using statements like 'for as long as we continue to love each other' and 'for as long as our marriage shall serve the greater good.' i have less to say about this group than the last one. at least they're being more truthful, but i just don't understand why they even bother to write vows at all. a righteous man 'keeps his oath even when it hurts.' why would anyone want to make an unrighteous vow in front of God, family, and friends? heck, just have a barbeque, sign a piece of paper, and go live together.
well, i guess i have a better idea of what i don't want to write at the moment. actually i do know what i want to say, i'm just being overly picky about how to word it all. i should get back to it! thanks for listening to my rantings. i will leave you with something more positive. i recently spoke to my church about india and my friend starlia took a picture of me in my sari. i put it on all by myself and i'm so proud i have to post the picture. it made me really miss india!
i did come across some interesting stuff while researching wedding vows. they have all different kinds now: christian traditional, interfaith, non-traditional, humorous, remarriage, etc. yes, vows can be tailor made to fit our individual needs and desires. isn't that great? maybe it would be if humans had it in themselves to keep these outrageous promises we make to one another. but we can't. we definitely and absolutely do not have the ability to sacrificially give ourselves to another person for a lifetime unless we draw strength from a higher source of love and grace. and i'm not talking about just divorce. i'm talking about everyday sacrifice, forgiveness, and selflessness--things that are unnatural to our carnal nature. maybe my assessment seems cynical, but these are the feelings that came out during my research, especially inspired by two groups.
the sappy and shallow vows-- i watched this video on Godtube (who knew there was such a thing) that looked like it came straight from a soap opera wedding. the guy actually told this girl she was his only hope. and she replied with a very touching proclamation that she didn't need to live in mansion, she just needed to live in his arms. i am a sentimental person but i was cracking up as i watched this couple worship each other. i understand people who are not christians using their weddings as a time to praise earthly love, but it bothers me when christians say things like that because it isn't what we believe. we believe that marriage is a gift of God, but our completeness and hope is in the Cross and relationship with Jesus. Another human being can be our beloved companion on this journey, but they can never be our salvation. so statements like (and i quote) 'i know i'm not perfect but we will be perfect together' belong in the soap operas but not in christian weddings. beyond all that, it just sounds stupid. i'm pretty sure when i have the flu and throw up everywhere jared isn't going to talk about living in my arms or how perfect i am while he's cleaning it up.
the lackadaisical vows-- i found a really interesting article about a trend where people are deciding to make their vows a little less 'permanent.' some people feel guilty saying till death do us part because they're just not sure their marriages will last. instead they're using statements like 'for as long as we continue to love each other' and 'for as long as our marriage shall serve the greater good.' i have less to say about this group than the last one. at least they're being more truthful, but i just don't understand why they even bother to write vows at all. a righteous man 'keeps his oath even when it hurts.' why would anyone want to make an unrighteous vow in front of God, family, and friends? heck, just have a barbeque, sign a piece of paper, and go live together.
well, i guess i have a better idea of what i don't want to write at the moment. actually i do know what i want to say, i'm just being overly picky about how to word it all. i should get back to it! thanks for listening to my rantings. i will leave you with something more positive. i recently spoke to my church about india and my friend starlia took a picture of me in my sari. i put it on all by myself and i'm so proud i have to post the picture. it made me really miss india!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
march madness
i cannot BELIEVE i am blogging right now. i should be fast asleep preparing for a day of answering phones and entering purchase orders. but how can a girl sleep when her wedding is two and a half weeks away? besides, i was chastised recently for being a sorry excuse for a blogger. here's what i've discovered: america=bad blogging. there's just not time. time was abundant in asia. here it is a luxury.
last week we spent five days in east texas for my uncle's funeral. he came to know the Lord six years ago. he was a big man with a lot of energy, but his back started hurting and he got sick. in just a matter of days he was diagnosed with rare bone cancer and liver failure. the service was lovely and i'd started writing my own deep thoughts on death and dying but never got around to finishing it. i do think death is a celebration for those with eternal hope, but it has such a sobering effect on me. i stand with my feet on the ground and breathe the air a little more deeply. i stare intently at my fingers and think about how someone God has created, someone unlike anyone or anything else that has ever lived, no longer exists in this world as we know it. if it weren't for my faith in the cross and resurrection i wouldn't be able to handle such despairing reality.
we returned home just in time for my weekend excursion to st. louis with my three best childhood friends. i know it seems like a weird transition after talking about death, but it's the order of my life. we went to see a musical at the fabulous fox theatre--the wedding singer. i guess you could accuse me for having shallow taste in musicals but i loved it! the eighties clothes were so fun, and it was a great experience to share with my friends. christy, charity, and jessica, also took me to eat thai and indian food, which may not have been their preference but it's two of my favorite cuisines. what great friends!
jared and i had our church wedding shower on sunday. all i can say about that is that we have some pretty amazing and generous people in our church. we even got bikes! courtesy of aunt marsha.
and last but not least we now have an answer to the question that has been on my mind for quite a few months now. where are we moving?
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DC!!! jared got accepted into american university so that's where we're headed this fall. i've already started looking for jobs and will probably apply in may. i'm excited--to be honest i would love to move back overseas but hopefully this will be a time where we can develop more skills to help people.
this has been a pretty general post, but i have so many things to get done these coming weeks! i've already had three dreams about everything going wrong on our wedding day. i think barack obama's pastor was in one of them. also, i've been trying to clean out my room, but i always end up looking at pictures and reading old letters and crying. to top it off i went for my final dress fitting today and the seamstress made my dress a little too tight on the top. she very rudely asked me if i gained weight. i don't know about you other ladies out there but when i gain weight it all goes to my back. man, my back just gets so wide that i have to start wearing football jerseys. needless to say i pointed out that my weight was the same and she did the alterations wrong, but really, what a mean lady! at least when indians tell you that you're fat they smile at you with toothy grins. thank goodness for india. whenever i feel a little frazzled i think about india. and then i thank God for the many blessings He's given that i do not deserve.
last week we spent five days in east texas for my uncle's funeral. he came to know the Lord six years ago. he was a big man with a lot of energy, but his back started hurting and he got sick. in just a matter of days he was diagnosed with rare bone cancer and liver failure. the service was lovely and i'd started writing my own deep thoughts on death and dying but never got around to finishing it. i do think death is a celebration for those with eternal hope, but it has such a sobering effect on me. i stand with my feet on the ground and breathe the air a little more deeply. i stare intently at my fingers and think about how someone God has created, someone unlike anyone or anything else that has ever lived, no longer exists in this world as we know it. if it weren't for my faith in the cross and resurrection i wouldn't be able to handle such despairing reality.
we returned home just in time for my weekend excursion to st. louis with my three best childhood friends. i know it seems like a weird transition after talking about death, but it's the order of my life. we went to see a musical at the fabulous fox theatre--the wedding singer. i guess you could accuse me for having shallow taste in musicals but i loved it! the eighties clothes were so fun, and it was a great experience to share with my friends. christy, charity, and jessica, also took me to eat thai and indian food, which may not have been their preference but it's two of my favorite cuisines. what great friends!
jared and i had our church wedding shower on sunday. all i can say about that is that we have some pretty amazing and generous people in our church. we even got bikes! courtesy of aunt marsha.
and last but not least we now have an answer to the question that has been on my mind for quite a few months now. where are we moving?
alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5179321880165520098" />DC!!! jared got accepted into american university so that's where we're headed this fall. i've already started looking for jobs and will probably apply in may. i'm excited--to be honest i would love to move back overseas but hopefully this will be a time where we can develop more skills to help people.
this has been a pretty general post, but i have so many things to get done these coming weeks! i've already had three dreams about everything going wrong on our wedding day. i think barack obama's pastor was in one of them. also, i've been trying to clean out my room, but i always end up looking at pictures and reading old letters and crying. to top it off i went for my final dress fitting today and the seamstress made my dress a little too tight on the top. she very rudely asked me if i gained weight. i don't know about you other ladies out there but when i gain weight it all goes to my back. man, my back just gets so wide that i have to start wearing football jerseys. needless to say i pointed out that my weight was the same and she did the alterations wrong, but really, what a mean lady! at least when indians tell you that you're fat they smile at you with toothy grins. thank goodness for india. whenever i feel a little frazzled i think about india. and then i thank God for the many blessings He's given that i do not deserve.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
I never gave an update on the rest of my So Cal trip, but if you read Alicia's blog you already know everything that happened! Even so, here's two of my favorite pictures. One is Malibu beach just as the sun was beginning to set, and the other one is us lounging on Hollyood Boulevard. When Alicia dropped me off at the airport to fly back to Kansas City we both felt bittersweet, the kind of feeling that envelopes you when change is near, and even though it's good change it's still a little hard. If you used to watch Friends maybe you would call it 'the end of an era.' The next time I see Alicia I'll be getting married.
The wedding is two months away. I've been addressing invitations, picking out flowers, and trying to figure out how to make my church gym look pretty. Lots of people have asked me how the planning is going, along with other various questions, so I thought I'd try and answer some of those on this blog.
The date is April 5th. The colors are chocolate brown, sage, and plum. We have five bridesmaids and five groomsmen. I have three songs including the processional and recessional. My cake is chocolate. Jared wants a picture of a leopard fighting a dragon on his cake but I've yet to find anything close to that. The flowers are cala lilies, hydrangeas, and tulips. We're having dinner but no dancing--I live in the country and I do not want Cotton Eye Joe played at my wedding. Along those same lines there will be no country love songs in the ceremony. We're going to Boston and Maine for our honeymoon. We're going to move in with my grandma after we get married. Jared's applied to grad school in Philadelphia and DC--so we're waiting to hear back and hopefully moving at the end of the summer! He wants to study international development and I want to pay our bills. One day we want to move back overseas. We don't know where yet.
Ok...that covers most of the questions I've been asked. Any others are welcome. I've enjoyed wedding planning, but I'm looking forward to actually being married. We've gone to several sessions of premarital counseling, and it's been fun to learn how to communicate with one another on a whole new level. I thought we were the poster couple for communication since the first year of our relationship occurred over the phone, but I've been humbled more than once through the small things. I usually make lunch for us and bring it work--nothing special, just sandwiches, fruit, veggies, and hummus. Anyway, Jared almost apologetically asked me the other day if I could put a little less mustard on his sandwich. Poor guy. I never thought about how normal people don't glob tons of mustard on their sanwiches the way I do. He'd been eating mustard with a little bread and turkey on the side for months without saying a word. I've had to learn not to assume that he likes everything the way I do. So what about all my married friends who read this blog? Any other helpful advice you can give me?
It's snowing here in the Midwest. I've been flipping through the pages of 1 John and reading about God's love and walking in the light and having fellowship with one another. On Super Bowl Sunday I'm speaking at an event put on by several churches in this area. You could say I'm the halftime entertainment...and I've gone back and forth over what to speak about. My high school bible study has been reading Isaiah 61, but for some reason I keep finding myself going back to 1 John. There's probably a reason for that. I guess I should get back to studying, but I'll let you know how it goes!
The wedding is two months away. I've been addressing invitations, picking out flowers, and trying to figure out how to make my church gym look pretty. Lots of people have asked me how the planning is going, along with other various questions, so I thought I'd try and answer some of those on this blog.
The date is April 5th. The colors are chocolate brown, sage, and plum. We have five bridesmaids and five groomsmen. I have three songs including the processional and recessional. My cake is chocolate. Jared wants a picture of a leopard fighting a dragon on his cake but I've yet to find anything close to that. The flowers are cala lilies, hydrangeas, and tulips. We're having dinner but no dancing--I live in the country and I do not want Cotton Eye Joe played at my wedding. Along those same lines there will be no country love songs in the ceremony. We're going to Boston and Maine for our honeymoon. We're going to move in with my grandma after we get married. Jared's applied to grad school in Philadelphia and DC--so we're waiting to hear back and hopefully moving at the end of the summer! He wants to study international development and I want to pay our bills. One day we want to move back overseas. We don't know where yet.
Ok...that covers most of the questions I've been asked. Any others are welcome. I've enjoyed wedding planning, but I'm looking forward to actually being married. We've gone to several sessions of premarital counseling, and it's been fun to learn how to communicate with one another on a whole new level. I thought we were the poster couple for communication since the first year of our relationship occurred over the phone, but I've been humbled more than once through the small things. I usually make lunch for us and bring it work--nothing special, just sandwiches, fruit, veggies, and hummus. Anyway, Jared almost apologetically asked me the other day if I could put a little less mustard on his sandwich. Poor guy. I never thought about how normal people don't glob tons of mustard on their sanwiches the way I do. He'd been eating mustard with a little bread and turkey on the side for months without saying a word. I've had to learn not to assume that he likes everything the way I do. So what about all my married friends who read this blog? Any other helpful advice you can give me?
It's snowing here in the Midwest. I've been flipping through the pages of 1 John and reading about God's love and walking in the light and having fellowship with one another. On Super Bowl Sunday I'm speaking at an event put on by several churches in this area. You could say I'm the halftime entertainment...and I've gone back and forth over what to speak about. My high school bible study has been reading Isaiah 61, but for some reason I keep finding myself going back to 1 John. There's probably a reason for that. I guess I should get back to studying, but I'll let you know how it goes!
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